Today is the 2nd year anniversary of the passing of my cousin. These past two years have been hard on me anytime something went wrong with my house and I didn’t have his help, or when I had a bad day and needed someone to make me laugh, or a needed friend to listen to my problems without judgements. He was always there when ever I needed him. He was special, not the normal, typical person. Some, well, many looked at all of his flaws and felt that he didn’t didn’t live up to his life’s potential. I see him in a completely different light. He may have not been perfect, but one thing he did do was love and love with his whole heart. Not every one knew just how much he loved them, but he did in ways many may never understand.
I want to honor today by sharing the experience I had last year on his first anniversary. This is going to be my first spiritual post, not my first spiritual experience, but the first that I am writing about spirituality, and I think that it is only fitting.
I feel this story should be shared with the world, especially with anyone that has experienced grief or any special moments that have happened after they lost a loved one that confirmed to you that your loved one is still with you. I know Dave is with me all the time. He has become one of my guardian angels watching over me.
The night before Dave’s one year anniversary, I told him (yes, I talk to him all the time) that I did not want to be sad on his anniversary and that he better make me have a good day and show me that he is with me. He did not disappoint.
That evening I fell asleep and I had a dream. Just to give a little back story before I tell this dream, I am not a huge fan of holidays and celebrations, especially if they are holidays that have become commercialized and before this, I was having a hard time remembering my dreams. So, back to my dream…
I dreamt that I had an artificial christmas tree and a strand of the lights went out. I called the manufacturer to ask for a replacement tree. They were overly excited to send me out a new tree. The next thing I knew, my doorbell rang. I opened the door and there stood a friend of mine telling me that he was there to deliver my new christmas tree. This friend, in particular, had the same sense of humor as my cousin. What happened next was magical. I turned around and I had not one, but five beautiful trees scattered all around my home all lit up and decorated beautifully. Lights were strung everywhere and I could feel so much love. It was not a normal dream. It was something special. I could feel his presence in my dream. I could feel his love.
The morning of his anniversary, I woke up feeling loved and in a wonderful mood. I slept well and off to work I went. Work seemed like a normal day until my boss approached me and asked me to have my annual review. Now this is where things start to get crazy. I have not had an annual review in nearly five years. At the end of my review my boss asked me how long has it been since I have received a raise and I told him that I had not had one in five years because I was told when I accepted the position that I was capped out in getting raises because it was a lower position that I had previously and the pay rate for that position was much lower. He told me that he believed that I was more valuable than the position I worked and he gave me an immediate raise that morning. Thanks Dave! (and my boss as well).
Later that afternoon, I received a phone call from the city I live in letting me know that my home was approved to receive a 15 thousand dollar GRANT for waterproofing and sewer repairs to help stop the flooding in my basement. This was a new grant that the city just started offering that year and it is not easy to qualify. This took so many burdens off of me, especially since Dave was usually the one that helped me with all of my house repairs in the past. This was a project that he and I were working on before he became sick.
If that was not enough to show me that he was telling me he was still with me, he gave me one more sign. This one was probably the most notable. To understand this fully, you must first understand that my cousin had an aggressive form of leukemia and my son drove him to many of his treatments for blood transfusions where he often received platelets. More back story… Back in August, I took my kids to the annual fair and they had the Life Share Blood Bank set up asking for blood donations. My son decided to try to donate to find out his blood type. His donation did not go very well that day and they could not accept his blood because it kept on clotting. We were told that his blood would still be tested and he should receive a letter in the mail. That letter never seem to come.
So, after I got settled at home I went to check our mailbox for mail. It always runs late. There sitting in the mailbox was a letter from Life Share Blood Bank addressed to my son. I opened up the letter and proceeded to read it. It went on to say that they tested my sons blood and wanted to let him know that he was an excellent candidate to donate platelets. I just smiled and took the letter to my son and told him that here was a letter from Dave to him saying hello.
There was not a moment in that day that I missed him. He was with me from that night before all the way through until I fell asleep again. I was not sad, nor did I miss him. I cried a lot, but they were all happy tears. I asked him to give me a good day and let me know that he was still with me and he did not disappoint.
Grief is never easy, but when you get days like this, it makes the pain of missing them subside just a little, even if it’s temporary.
You are forever with me!
Thank you for all of your support! I appreciate everyone of you!
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